Saturday, September 18, 2004
I wanna apologise to all that i have been irritating these few days..
people like Sharon, Pekyu, and Kenny's parents...
some people might not realise what pain i am going thru.. not when u know u really wanna settle down with someone and yet that person reject u big time.. Its like they first accept you and slap u right back into ur face to say they suddenly don't wanna be with u... I may irritate but the hurt in my heart can nv be compared to anything..
I also wanna apologise to Kenny as i know i irritate him a lot with my truthful feelings about him.. I know he can bear to put everything down but i can't... I don't think i ever wanna get married.. coz the person i wish to be with don't even think i deserve a chance iregardless how much i feel for him.. All he can think of is him wanting to be single..
i will still wear the ring he gave me as a pledge of our love... its v precious to me
I have had my fair share of bfs.. i know whats serious and what's not.. Kenny taught me a lot of things.. how to learn to forgive and forget and accept others the way they are.. well i learned but maybe some things are not able to forget and forgive just like he can't give me another chance..
What i can give, i already gave.. and i can't take back some of the things i gave also.. It will always be his.. I have given him my heart.. He will always remain in a special place in my heart..
I must stand up and be strong.. i must try.. people think i can coz they think i am brave and strong but i am not.. Coz Kenny has always been the one giving me the security and support that i need..
I will force myself to stop irritating him.. yes force myself.. for him.. coz its what he wants.. even as i typed this i cry.. one year.. one year of love for each other..
but there's no looking back already.. will i look back and regret this day that i nv treasure Kenny? Yes i will always regret.. tho i know he may not regret losing me.. but deep inside me i know.. i will always be waiting for him to come back to my life.. I really love ya so..
Yours Truly, Emma 10:33 PM
