Every time when a guy I love tells me how much he worries about me going home alone late at night, I would feel so touched to know that at least someone in this world actually cares about my safety. Although he might be somewhere doing something or in camp due to NS, I know it is not his fault, as he did not choose not to be there for me.
Today my heart died on me. It just stopped. The whole day, all I look forward was after school when Kenny would be there to fetch me. I can finally get to see him and he promise to bring me out for dinner. I was so happy I was thinking about it all day.
My lesson is supposed to end at 10 pm. At about 9.45pm, I received a call from him to tell me that there was no car and he would be coming down soon. I was thinking, not again, always exactly 15 mins before my school end he will have some last minute changes and would still be at home. So I message him to say maybe he should not come. It’s troublesome. I do not know why I message him that but deep in my heart I really want to see him.
In case you guys do not know, I really love this guy a lot. Everything I do, I will include him in my life. For example my exams is coming next week and tomorrow which is Vesak day, I will plan my time to study with my friends so that I have sufficient time to accompany him too. I am crazy about him, I really am. Despite at first my parents did not like him to be a policeman, I did not care about every other thing and made my parents accept him for who he is and showed them how important he is to me.
All these just bring tears to my eyes. My life is like turning towards the time I and Paul broke up. Knowing that I have someone and yet feel like I have none seem to make me think if actually anyone appreciates me at all
Nothing can be even unluckier; my damn fare card has no value. I got to walk all the way home.
To my dearest: The day I stop crying for you, the day I stop scolding or caring, will be the day I stop loving you.
Maybe you do not know how much I love you or how important I am to you now but I am sure some day you will know.
Yours Truly, Emma 11:00 AM
